As the proud son of a gay father, I grew up hearing all of the stereotypes as well as understanding all the shame and repression gay individuals felt from a society that did not accept them as they truly are.
I never understood, what was the big deal? The love I felt from my father was genuine, and the contribution he made to my life is beyond significant. How could sexual orientation affect the baseline of human principals?
Helping couples, any couple create the wedding of their dreams has been one of the most rewarding components of my job. It was many years ago when I worked on my first same-sex wedding. I remember first approaching it with enthusiasm, at that time tradition was very prevalent in the wedding business and thinking this will be exciting, to do something so totally different and out of the ordinary. After my initial consultation with our customer, we began to create the storyboard for their big day, I realized then, much as I did with my father that the similarities of the human condition far outweigh the differences and love and commitment are the same for all.
The primary difference I have found when planning a same-sex wedding involves the ceremony procession. Typically the groom walks down first, gets into position all in preparation for the big moment when the bride makes her grand entrance. In a same-sex wedding, when this traditional approach is desired, my experience has been that the couple will have already identified who will walk down first and who will follow. At my company noel.events, We call this a processional order chart and like everything else we do, It doesn’t just pertain to same-sex, it is the same formula used for all weddings.
What we are really talking about here is a long held preconceived perception. Truth be told, I have done more straight weddings that would fit what I would imagine to be stereotypical gay cliché. What with the flamboyant designs and outrageous performances. Coincidentally, I loved everyone of them, life is too short and too full of wonder, to be taken so seriously!
Now, many years later with over 100 same-sex wedding’s designed, created and produced. I am elated with the changes that have taken place on a legal level acknowledging and recognizing equal rights. The value and commonality of marriage to all committed individuals. Almost daily I receive inquiries for advice on same-sex weddings, I am so elated by the fact that this has become a regular occurrence.
When I look back, I remember the first same-sex wedding I did so vividly. I remember sitting on the sidelines and thinking what an incredibly important moment this was. With a tear in my eye, that where we have come as compassionate human beings is paving the way to a better future. Acceptance for all, that the shame and repression regarding sexual orientation is a thing of the past.
Amen,
Tom
